But seeing her there, breast feeding her daughter, she looked very relaxed.“Something you have to look forward to, Karen,” Mandy said. “Every four hours, she wants the breast.”“Sounds just like Mike!” Paul said. “Just like all of us guys, actually.”“Just wait until she starts to get her teeth, Mandy,” Robyn said. “Nursing them quickly loses its attraction when they can bite you!”“Don’t listen to her, Mandy,” Sally said. “By the time they are teething, they want something more substantial than milk.”I looked across at Lisa, she seemed a little wistful, and I realized that all this talk of babies and breast feeding was something that she would never be able to experience. I reached over, held her hand and gave it a soft squeeze; she looked at me and smiled back. I leant over close to her, and whispered ‘sorry’ in her ear.“Don’t be sorry, it’s all good,” she whispered back. “I’ve come to terms with our life, we are fine.”We decided to leave the others to their discussions on babies,. In this economy, downsizing our house wasn’t an option. We were flipped on it and even if we found someone to buy it, we couldn’t come up with the down payment on another one, even if it was smaller. Monica and I had never argued in the past, but now it seemed that no matter what I said, or did, it was wrong. Arguments became the norm rather than the exception. When our lovemaking went from three times a week to maybe once every three weeks, I began to give her a hard time about it. On night, after an unpleasant exchange, Monica informed me that if I was that horny, to go into the bathroom and use my hand, it erupted into the worst fight of our fifteen-year marriage. I wasn’t a total asshole, but dug my heels in and said more than a few things I shouldn’t have. In our three bedroom house there was no spare bedroom to go to, so at night when we went to bed, we were together yet apart. After two more weeks of almost no talking, and no relief in sight, I sold the remaining items of any.
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